Self-Care for the Legal Client
Tips for Taking Care of Yourself While Your Lawyer is Taking Care of Your Legal Matter
Facing any type of litigation or legal issue can add an immense amount of stress to someone’s life. As a legal matter pushes on, the stress and anxiety can wear on a person, and often the only individual they feel they can confide in (and often the only person they should confide in regarding their legal matter) is their attorney, but that typically costs additional money at a time when money is already tight. Add to that the ongoing stress of living during a pandemic, and, well, you have a recipe for letting yourself get to a detrimental point physically and emotionally if you fail to take care of yourself—your whole self—body, mind, and soul.
Self-care may seem like nothing more than a buzzword that beckons thoughts of a bubble bath, some candles and a glass of wine while wearing a mud mask. While that can be a lovely form of self-care, it is a superficial fix to any real problems and not going to last much long than the 30 minutes that the water stays the perfect temperature. Vacations are amazing forms of self-care, but with the expense involved and travel restrictions in place, even low budget travel plans can add unnecessary stress.
Here are some methods of self-care that will cost little to no money and as much time as you have to invest in them:
1. Meditation
The practice of meditation is not only cost free, but also filled with variations and options for making the practice personal to fit your needs. This is one of my preferred methods of self-care because of the versatility and accessibility. There is a wealth of free resources available online to get you started, and you can make your practice as advanced as you wish. Meditation easily works into your existing religious or self-help studies. You can practice meditation anywhere and at any time for any length of time that works for you. If sitting in silence is not your cup of tea, you can try guided meditations. My go-to app for several years has been Calm and I am currently loving a 31-day meditation collective with Nicole Wild Collective.
2. Yoga
Yoga is also a method of self-care that allows you to make the practice customized to your needs. There are many online resources at little or no cost to you. All you really need is a yoga mat, and the cost of a mat generally starts around $15. It is a relatively low investment for a practice that can benefit your body, mind, and soul. I prefer a thicker yoga mat, and I think it is worth paying a little more for a mat that offers more padding. Mats are also one of the easiest pieces of equipment to store away when not in use. Bonus: A cozy yoga mat is a great spot for getting in a meditation or busting out a few crunches.
3. Exercise
Whether you enjoy running, pumping iron, or swimming laps, exercise is method of self-care that most everyone has tried. The physical benefits are generally known, but there are also many emotional benefits to exercise, including the reduction of stress. Many exercise classes are available online and can be accessed at your convenience from the privacy of your home. Whether you enjoy an in-person experience, being in the outdoors, or working out in your basement, get moving towards a healthy way to release that tension that is dragging you down.
Two of my favorite local offerings in Dillon are the Montana Running Club and Dance Fitness with Heather.
4. Reading
Jump into a good book! The Bookstore in Dillon, Montana, is an excellent place to visit, in person or online, if turning the pages of a physical book is your thing. There’s something relaxing about settling into a great work of fiction or nonfiction and losing yourself in a story. You can also download books on your phone or tablet if you like the ease of having everything in one spot or don’t have space for new books.
5. Journaling
When your mind is filled with thoughts, it can be beneficial to pour those out on paper or type them out on a computer. Journaling is a wonderful way to help clear your mind and capture your thoughts at the same time. Online sources for journaling prompts can be helpful in starting your practice or bringing fresh ideas to an existing practice. There are blank journals available, as well as journals to meet your specific needs. Last year I used the DiveThru app to jump start my journaling practice with a 30-day challenge. It was free, and I was able to put into it as much time as I had each day.
6. Creating better habits
It can be as simple as drinking more water or less sugary beverages. Even flossing more regularly is a great habit to begin (and your dentist will thank you). Focusing on better habits provides the benefit of the habit itself, as well as putting your focus on something that is positive on a regular basis. Creating better habits can help you in reaching weight loss goals, financial goals, career goals, parenting goals, etc. If you want to dive deeper into breaking bad habits, my favorite book regarding this topic is Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself by Joe Dispenza. Bonus: this book also has an in-depth guide to meditation practice.
7. Saying “No”/Establishing Healthy Boundaries
One of the best self-care tips I ever received was the advice to start saying “no.” Often we take on too much or say “yes” unnecessarily to avoid conflict with someone else or to avoid the feeling of letting someone else down. The problem with saying “yes” when you want to say “no” is that instead of raising potential conflict with someone else or potentially causing someone else disappointment, you bring about internal conflict or disappoint to yourself instead. You are no less important than the person you are saying “no” to. Your boundaries, your time, your energy, your plans, your goals, and your mental wellbeing are important.
8. Learning Something New
Learning something new can be a challenging and rewarding experience. A few years ago I signed up for a three month quilting course. I was definitely in over my head on the first day, but the instructor was more than happy to help me thread the needle of my new sewing machine. (Yes, I went to a quilting class without even the knowledge of how to use my sewing machine.) So often we find ourselves sticking only to hobbies that we know, but there is world of opportunity available to learn a new skill in the privacy of your own home. Take a painting class—in person or online, learn to ski or snowboard, sign up for community theater, learn to play a musical instrument, or pick a famous historical figure or monument and educate yourself on the topic. There is so much knowledge available, so instead of fretting over legal troubles, take a break and feed your brain with something new and interesting.
9. Tackling a Nagging To Do
There is always at least one task that you continuously move to the bottom of your to-do list. Often seeing that nagging task can make your blood pressure rise, and when you are already stressed, a little more stress goes a long way. Give yourself a deadline and get the task completed. Not only will you get to remove the nagging task from your to-do list, but you will also get to reap the benefits of the product of your efforts. It’s a win-win, and a great way to show yourself a little more love.
10. Budgeting and Financial Planning
For many clients financial obligations produce a great amount of stress and anxiety. On top of legal fees, most individuals are facing other related expenses such as moving out of the marital home, paying child support, or paying for an alcohol monitoring system. There is no better time to gain control over personal finances than when you are going through a life changing experience with a legal matter. Budgeting plans come in all shapes and sizes, and it only takes a little research online to find a template to create your own and take control of an area of your life in a meaningful way that can help reduce stress and anxiety.
11. Following Time Management
Time is one of the most valuable resources we have, yet we do not always use it wisely. Poor time management can increase already existing stress and anxiety, but it is something easy to get under control with sufficient planning. My favorite planner not only includes the basic scheduling tools, but it also helps map out short term and long term goals so I can break each goal into steps to keep me on track monthly and quarterly. It’s much easier to manage time in short increments with concrete steps towards the bigger goal. There are also several free options for time management tools available online that can be personalized to fit your lifestyle and needs.
12. Attending an Online Religious or Spiritual Gathering
There is no better time to take advantage of the availability of online religious or other spiritual services. Whether you attend regularly or are simply curious about a religion or spiritual belief you have never experienced, the online options make it easy to join in without having to go anywhere. You may find that you connect better to the service from the comfort of home or discover beliefs that you did not realize you held. Attending an online gathering can also help you feel a part of something when your world is being tossed upside down, and sometimes that is the best self-care you can get when you are feeling alone. The other added perk of attending online is that you will not have to answer potentially awkward questions, for example, questions regarding your family situation when you are in the middle of a painful dissolution.
13. Send Letters of Gratitude
Sending someone deserving a “thank you” letter or card is another way to offer yourself a dose of self-care and a way to connect with someone that has offered a positive contribution to your life. Taking time to think about people for which you are grateful is a positive energy boost alone, but taking the additional time to write a note to the person that extended you kindness, assistance, or a gift is a way to brighten your day and their day. It also helps motivate the mind to focus on the positive aspects in one’s life instead of dwelling on stress or anxiety-producing aspects. I enjoy using Letters for a Year of Gratitude for ideas of what to write about, but any old pen and paper will also do the trick.
14. Saying “Yes” to Joy
This one may seem obvious, but I have found there to be a large number of people that do not feel comfortable saying “yes” to items or activities that bring them joy. They may view it is a luxury and not a necessity or even feel guilty for taking part in activities or spending money on items that bring them joy. When you deprive yourself of joyful experiences, you deplete your reserves. How can you have joy to share with others if you do not replenish your own happiness? This is not granting an excuse to blow the amazing money skills, time management, or diet and exercise plan you have developed, but it is giving you permission to budget for fun purchases, plan time to enjoy a social activity, or eat the slice of cake.
15. Subscription boxes
When my divorce was pending I moved out of the house I loved and into an apartment. It was a lovely apartment. No matter how cozy I made my new home, it was lonely at times. Around that time the notion of subscription boxes began springing up. I found one called “Singles Swag.” Purchasing that subscription was one of the kindest gestures I offered to myself. I thoroughly enjoyed that one evening a month when I would find this box of goodies in my mailbox. I would rush to my kitchen, pour a glass of wine, and open my treats. Now that I am no longer single, I have replaced my Singles Swag with a couple of monthly boxes from Cratejoy so I can continue to treat myself to little surprises like succulents, books, and writing materials. Finding a monthly, scheduled treat within your budget is a way to regularly remind yourself that you are worth celebrating.
Not only will self-care provide you with positive and lasting changes for your own well-being, but focusing on positive changes can have the pleasant benefit of taking your mind off your legal matter for at least a portion of the day. Many of my clients that become extremely anxious are often the clients that focus constantly on their pending legal matter. While attention to your legal matter is a good thing, allowing it to consume your entire life can be detrimental to your wellbeing. It can often take your attorney’s attention away from the important aspects of representation in order to respond to emotionally charged emails or phone calls. A healthy balance of concern for and attention to your legal matter while maintaining the other areas of your life and your personal wellbeing is often the best approach.